Mamma Monday: Worth It

While Mother's Day is behind us just hours ago, the everyday joys (sounds better than 'grind') greeted us just like clockwork this morning. Looking a yesterday's picture with Vivian Louise and last year's it's amazing how different she looks and me! She was still a tiny baby last year and I was not as tiny as I wanted.

Vivian Louise 4 1/2 months old 

Vivian Louise 16 1/2 months old

Being a Mamma changes you on the inside and the outside.  One of my fears of even embarking on this journey was the physical impact.  I'll be very transparent with you gals, I didn't want to get big! And you have no option when you grow a baby inside of you.  And I was also fearful of the year after she was here feeding her from my body round the clock! I'm still sensitive to the sacrifice I made giving up my body for her for  pregnancy and 51 weeks of nursing.  I'm not bragging, well maybe a little, but more in wonder at the willingness of a Mamma to do even what she hates for the sake of her baby.  And that's what I did.

I hated throwing up 24/7 for 8 months. I hated being limited physically and mentally all while watching my body expand EVERYWHERE! Not to mention trying to keep up with my career and renovating our home. Then she was here and my body hurt so badly.  I was recovering from an emergency c-section, clogged ducts which lead to mastitis due to frequent pumping because she couldn't nurse for the first 6 weeks and not to mention I was scared to even look at myself because I knew I looked horrible from sleep deprivation.

My entire adult lifestyle was eating clean and rigorous exercise. I rocked my abs with pride!

All of this being said ....

Vivian Louise is WORTH IT!!!

My sister sent me this picture shortly after she was born and I've saved it as a reminder when I'm feeling blue about my body.

While I was determined to get back to my regular nutrition and exercise regiment that's hard to do with a baby the first year, especially if you're nursing.  Your body needs extra fuel to produce her food and because I was burning it as I was taking it in I had to eat far more than I ever had before.
And because of the hormones released I had a hard time lifting to my prior intensity not to mention trying to time my sweat sessions directly after feedings. I did the best I could.
Mammas, that's the key to it all!

Now that she's a year old I find myself back on my own two tiny feet. I may even be a tad leaner than before her. She's become my gym buddy playing in the child care and loves to go on runs with me so that she can see puppy doggies walking by.

They say having children changes you and that is completely true.  Though I may look great on the outside and in my clothes my body is different.
I have an intense scar that still hurts (I blame my fair skin).  Nursing took it's toll on my chest! And because she's filled my inside with more love and joy that I could ever measure or describe, my face has a different happy than ever before.

So when I look in the mirror, for a second I see the evidence of her across my body. And for a second a tiny wave of dissatisfaction passes through and then with just a blink of an eye it's gone because the joy of her sweeps it away.

One of my gal pals was saddened by her stretch marks and cellulite 
Tip: call them tiger stripes and leopard spots - it makes it a little less hard :)
I encouraged her and myself with the reminder that our bodies are healthy and strong and we do our best to take care of them and use them to take care of our babies. #worthit

Dress Your Mamma Body Beautifully

XOXO Sarah-Louise